The Selfishness of Others: An Essay on the Fear of Narcissism by Kristin Dombek

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The Selfishness of Others: An Essay on the Fear of Narcissism Read Online Free - They're among us, but they are not like us. They manipulate, lie, cheat, and steal. They are irresistibly charming and accomplished, appearing to live in a radiance beyond what we are capable of. But narcissists are empty. No one knows exactly what everyone else is full of--some kind of a soul, or personhood--but whatever it is, experts agree that narcissists do not have it.

So goes the popular understanding of narcissism, or NPD (narcissistic personality disorder). And it's more prevalent than ever, according to recent articles in The New York Times, The Atlantic, and Time. In bestsellers like The Narcissism Epidemic, Narcissists Exposed, and The Narcissist Next Door, pop psychologists have armed the normal with tools to identify and combat the vampiric influence of this rising population, while on websites like, thousands of people congregate to swap horror stories about relationships with "narcs."

In The Selfishness of Others, the essayist Kristin Dombek provides a clear-sighted account of how a rare clinical diagnosis became a fluid cultural phenomenon, a repository for our deepest fears about love, friendship, and family. She cuts through hysteria in search of the razor-thin line between pathology and common selfishness, writing with robust skepticism toward the prophets of NPD and genuine empathy for those who see themselves as its victims. And finally, she shares her own story in a candid effort to find a path away from the cycle of fear and blame and toward a more forgiving and rewarding life.

Title : The Selfishness of Others: An Essay on the Fear of Narcissism
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 0865478236
Edition Language : English
Format Type : Paperback
Number of Pages : 160 pages


Greta rated it ★☆☆☆☆

June 23, 2017

Honestly, I barely understand what I've been reading. Dense and poorly written essay. The reviews are better than the book.

jeremy rated it ★★★☆☆

May 16, 2016

a mostly fascinating look at the clinical and cultural history of narcissism, kristin dombek's the selfishness of others: an essay on the fear of narcissism isn't the sort of trite garbage that aims to convince you a narcissist may be sleeping in your bed with you, living next door, or sharing th...

Chance rated it ★★★★★

January 18, 2018

Dombek's 138-page essay is a concentrated look not at narcissism, but at those who fear narcissism. Turns out they're the same thing. The fear of narcissism is, in a way, its own form of narcissism. To deconstruct the narcissism apocalypse we live in today, Dombek traces the term's convoluted hist...

Elaine rated it ★★★☆☆

February 10, 2017

I have to say I struggled a bit with this book but perhaps that just emphasises the complexity of this disorder. Some very interesting concepts are discussed here, one being are narcissists really people with low self esteem or in fact the exact opposite, excessive self esteem? Dombek also discus...

Michelle rated it ★★★★★

September 08, 2016

“The Selfishness of Others: An Essay on the Fear of Narcissism” authored by educator notable journalist Kristen Dombek: expertly researched, thoroughly explores the widespread concern and rise (0%-5% increase) of the epidemic of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) which was first introduc...

Peter rated it ★★★★☆

September 27, 2016

Are you a narcissist? Of course you are. We all are. It’s so obvious. That’s our modern condition. We’re self-obsessed millennials who live online and care about only our empty selves. Boy, what a bunch of assholes we are. Really, we’re just idiots, unthinking morons who glom onto buzzwords and e...

Graeme rated it ★☆☆☆☆

June 24, 2017

Unclear and poorly written, despite the noble intent to debunk the mass foolishness, charlatanism, and outright fraud of popular social psychology.

Jafar rated it ★★★☆☆

June 09, 2017

For people who easily throw around the accusation of narcissism (at current or former romantic partners, family members, or an entire group or generation, e.g., the millennials), have a firm belief in being authentic and unselfish while regarding others with suspicion of being manipulative and se...

Therese rated it ★★★☆☆

January 02, 2017

Parts of this short book were pretty dense, like where she discusses the history of psychology, and I only skimmed them ... she also has a kind of oblique style even when she writes from a more "human interest" standpoint about bad boyfriends and teenagers unjustly accused of narcissistic behavio...

Peter rated it ★★☆☆☆

October 18, 2016

I lost the forest for the trees reading this book. Everything you ever wanted to know about narcissism, in excruciating detail - with occasional tangential discussions about other subjects - but somehow, I lost the point of what she was saying ... if there ever was a point.

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